The Cap of Prostitution

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female-genital-mutilation-tools2.jpg

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-ChiefLast Modified: 16:35 p.m. EDT, 19 April 2010

AFRICA - The practice of female genital mutilation entails the partial or total cutting away of external female genitalia. Traditional healers, birth attendants, or elderly woman usually carry out the procedure, usually in septic environments.

The clitoris is excised with crude instruments such as knives, razor blades and broken glass without anesthesia. During post surgical healing the girls are at greatest risk of infection, and the agony they suffer is exacerbated by the lack of access to pain medication.  In lieu of this herbal solutions or poultices are applied to check the bleeding and lessen the pain.

This crude and hazardous procedure is grounded in and surrounded by various myths, misconceptions, and superstition nonsense. For instance, the ritual is performed as a rite of passage to prepare young girls for womanhood and marriage. The belief that it prevents a woman from giving birth to a stillborn child is also quite prevalent. In some parts of western Nigeria it is regarded as a taboo for the head of a child to touch the mother's clitoris during delivery. Some of the proverbs that support and underscore these mythical postulations include:

  • "The clitoris is a cap of prostitution which the vagina wears from heaven."
  • "If we don't clip the clitoris, it is going to be asking great sacrifices of the penis when it grows."
  • "The fortune gathered by the penis is taken up by the vagina."

Even though these beliefs predate the coming and spread of Islam, traditional African practices have subsequently become closely related and allied with radical Islamic teachings, traditions, and customs. Africa is a deeply patriarchal society. Men dominate the socioeconomic and political machinery and organizations. Men are regarded as natural leaders who are superior and born to rule over women.

Women are considered weaker vessels who are merely extensions of men and secondary human beings. The pride and dignity that women feel in these societies is derived from and dependent upon men. Hence, African societies attach more value and importance to a male child than to a female child. Ten daughters are not worth a son. No woman is regarded as complete or real until she gives birth to a male. Delivering a son gives a woman pride and a place at her husband's home.

It is said that every married woman stands with one leg in her husband's house until she gives birth to a male child. Like the many traditional societies in China, India and the Middle East, the traditional African value system is fundamentally biased against women and is gender insensitive. Thus, in many parts of Africa, girls as young as seven are married to men old enough to be their fathers, and in some cases their grandfathers. Parents often marry their daughters off before they are old enough to decide for themselves. When the issue of dowry comes into play, the girls are literally treated as chattel that can bought and sold, thereby becoming the property of the purchaser who can then use her as he deems fit. This usually culminates in rape, physical abuse, abandonment, or murder.

Women are further diminished through the practice of Polygamy which is another traditional custom that prevails in Africa. Men are licensed to marry as many women as "they can afford" to support. Therefore, theoretically the number of wives a man has can infer his level of wealth or business acumen. However, as with any "status" symbol, many women are acquired as wives by men who are ill-equipped to care for them or the offspring that are borne to him. As part of this tradition, upon the death of a woman's husband, the eldest man in the family inherits the woman and she is evicted from her husband's house while her children and property are confiscated. Source: Excerpted from text written by Leo Igwe. Mr. Igwe is director of the Centre for Inquiry in Nigeria. He can be reached at nskepticleo@yahoo.com.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDJyZIPvExY]

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'Children of Africa, Children of the World' I Rama Yade

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'Children of Africa, Children of the World' I Rama Yade

The ANI association has organized the "Fortnight of Children of Africa," a conference where leading proponents of the movement will publicly debate the issues and concerns of education in Africa. This is the 4th year of that this event has been held and the theme is "Children of Africa, Children of the World." Last year's event was hosted by Rama Yade, a Senegalese French politician who has served in the government of France since 2007. Watch the video of her speech here. Children are our most precious resource and we must ensure that all children regardless of their country of origin, religion or ethnicity are protected, nurtured, and availed of all the rights, privileges, freedoms and opportunities that are the hallmark of the best of humankind. The well worn statement that "it takes a village to raise a child," is as apropos today in this technological world as it was when we lived in more pastoral environs. We are the village and though most of us live in virtual worlds, when we choose to be physically present and engaged with people, we are truly powerful and can make a difference.

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Force Feeding Girls for Marriage

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Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-Chief
Last Modified: 02:18 a.m. EDT, 11 April 2010

Force Feeding for Marriage, Niger, Africa, Photo by Peter OleMAURITANIA, West Africa - Thousands of young girls in the West African country Mauritania, continue to be subjected to the cruel practice of gavage or force-feeding to make them more desirable for marriage.

Every year girls as young as five are routinely forced to undergo the traditional practice of Leblouh so they will be fat enough to secure a larger dowry for their families.

This inhuman practice of force feeding girls, often until they vomit, is as reprehensible as another predominant cultural practice of genital mutilation. Both practices seek to enrich the family through dowries because the girls have been physiologically altered to inflate their marketability to perspective husbands.

Even more traumatic and heart-breaking, is the fact that the perpetrator of these indignities are not strangers, but the mothers and other female members of the girls' immediate and extended family. It is a vicious cycle that becomes a twisted rite of passage wherein the victim becomes the victimizer.

Although the Mauritanian government denies that the practice continues while clerics assert that it is contrary to Islamic law; it is a country with over 50% unemployment and vast rural areas populated by nomadic people who live in abject poverty.

It is within this context that obesity among children and the plague of poor body image among women has recently captured international attention. Historically, woman have struggled against fickle standards of beauty established by male perceptions and desires, and promulgated through various mediums and industries.

Currently, in the West an inverse standard of beauty exists as 'waifs' adorn our advertisements and daily assault us through film and video. Thinness has become synonymous with status and wealth, and is yet another way for people in America to discriminate.

In Mauritania and other parts of the world where fast food is not readily available, it is very difficult to gain weight. However, in America poorer women and their children are most susceptible to the accessibility, ease of obtainment, and low-cost of fast food and other non-nutritious food products.

Based upon my experience, the cost of eating healthy, buying organic, and supporting local producers and farmers comprises an astounding 30% of my monthly income. For most people in this country, especially in these challenging economic times, this type of expenditure is impossible.

Thus, when the effects of unhealthy diet manifests in obesity and the attendant physical and health challenges, becomes yet another identifier in class distinction. More about this subject of food in America can be explored by watching the movie "Fast Food Nation," by Eric Schlosser.

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Published: 11 April 2010
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Rubens' "Venus at a Mirror circa 1615"This was not always the case as attested to by the paintings of Rubens and other 17th Century master painters. Ruben often painted 'Zaftig' women, thus the term Rubenesque was coined to describe women with voluptuous curves that connoted fertility and fecundity.

In the traditional, nomadic Mauritanian society, full figured women imply the ability to bear many healthy children. Her ability to procreate makes her body exceedingly valuable since children are the wealth of many non-technology based economies.

There are no clear-cut reasons why the preference in the West for Zaftig women has declined so precipitously, which has led to the emergence of anorexia as the predominant standard of beauty.

In both instances, women are not in control of their bodies and are therefore subjected to increased psychological damage from poor body image, physiological trauma from eating disorders, and low self-esteem from unsuccessfully trying to conform to the vagaries of external determinations of standards of beauty and worth.

As a woman living in a advertising rich culture, I also struggle with body image, however; the pressures that I experience are primarily self-induced versus the cruel reality these young women experience. Forced to drink milk laced with butter, millet, and couscous, and to drink lots of water they are veritably fatted like ducks being cultivated for Foie Gras.

These girls endure the indignity of being fed from morning to evening, at least three times a day, to make them gain between 130 lbs (59 kg) to 220 lbs (99.7 kg) rapidly which results in lots of layers of fat. Even when they vomit, they are forced to continue to eat and drink so that they can replace any amount that has been expelled from their bodies.

The video sadly depicts the mothers of these girls seemingly inured to harm they are causing their daughters as they beat them and crush their toes between two sticks to inflict pain to distract them to the horror of the process.

One mother expressed privately that "it's not cruel to make girls fat!" she said. "I have to make my daughter fat and attractive so that she will get a good husband. Even though she is only seven, I have to start now so that she can be ready to marry soon. People think that skinny girls have AIDS so I have to show that she is healthy and can gain weight.

The combination of Leblouh plus the arranged marriages of these child brides has prompted international human rights groups to intervene in and pressure the Mauritanian government to impose strict sanctions against this practice.

However religious and cultural traditions are difficult to uproot particularly in matters of sex and sexuality. A woman who helps parents fatten their daughters said, "I've seen 10-year old girls give birth. I tell you, 10 years old! Once they are fat and beautiful they can be married and sexually serve their men well."

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Polish President Killed in Fiery Crash

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Polish President Killed in Fiery Crash

Polish President Lech Kaczynski dies with wife and top aids in plane crash in Russia.

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Elite Controllers of HIV

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Elite Controllers of HIV

Globally 33 million people have HIV, researchers suspect that 1 in 300 people are probably "elite controllers." One of the earliest known cases in the United States of an "elite controller" is a man named Rod Fichter who was first diagnosed in 1986 but has been living symptom free for over 20 years. Both he and a friend tested positive, however his friend succumbed to complications from the disease shortly thereafter. Much to Rod's surprise not only did he survive, he never developed any symptoms and remained healthy without ever taking medication.

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Kenya's Failed Witness Protection Program

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Kenya's Failed Witness Protection Program

Luis Moreno-Ocampo, the chief prosecutor of the International Criminal Court (ICC) in The Hague presented judges with a list of 20 suspects who he believed were most responsible for financing or organizing the violence after the 2007 elections in Kenya when more than 1,000 people were killed and 600,000 forced from their homes after Kenya's electoral commission declared that President Mwai Kibaki had won a second term in the December 2007 poll. Suspects included political and business leaders from both parties who were identified by the ICC after numerous requests by other nations including America, for Kenya to initiate an investigation to identify and prosecute the ringleaders.

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Visions of Ethiopia | Addis Ababa

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Visions of Ethiopia | Addis Ababa

Featuring images of Ethiopia that are rarely portrayed in the Western media. Like so much of what we are shown of Africa, Asia and the Middle East, there is more than meets the eye; greater diversity, cultural richness and fulfilled lives that do not require nor seek the pity of other nations.

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Our World, His Music | Armand Amar | Philip Glass

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Our World, His Music | Armand Amar | Philip Glass

Much has been written about our world, man's adverse impact on the planet, and what needs to be done to save Earth. No doubt as our species continues to advance, our expansion and incursion into the remaining pristine corners of our planet will accelerate as we seek illusory security through the treasures the earth can yield to us. However, unlike our planet, our lifespan is akin to that of a flea, and like a dog with an itch, we will voluntarily or involuntarily be cast off. This perspective was best expressed by Dr. Iain Stewart's in the 2009 BBC program titled "Earth: The Power of the Planet." Dr. Stewart stated "in the long run, earth can cope with anything we can throw at it. We could clear all the jungles, but a jungle can regrow over a few thousand years. We could burn all earths’ fossil fuels, flooding the atmosphere with carbon dioxide but even then, it will take the planet only a million years or so for the atmosphere to recover even the animals we are wiping out will eventually be replaced by others equally rich in diversity as a relentless work of evolution continues. It’s only a question of time; the earth will be just fine. So all this stuff about saving planet earth, well that is not the problem: planet earth doesn’t need saving, earth is a great survivor. It’s not the planet we should be worrying about, it’s us."

Not withstanding that powerful sentiment, this post is tangentially about environmental issues, but primarily about the brilliant, contemporary composers Armand Amar and Philip Glass. Both of these composers possess unparalleled skills in weaving together the unique voices, languages and cultures of people around the world to tell compelling stories through film scores.

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Zimbabwean Jews Confirmed via DNA

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Lemba Jews (Israelites) SA Malawi ZImbabwe Mozambique Israel, Photo by Phantom

Lemba Jews (Israelites) SA Malawi ZImbabwe Mozambique Israel, Photo by Phantom

ZIMBABWE - Tudor Parfitt's remarkable journey to introduce the Lemba tribe to the world began with a lecture in South Africa on the Jews of Ethiopia. After meeting with the tribe, observing their lives and listening to their oral history, he returned to England where he determined that "this would be a wonderful research project."

Thus began an intense relationship with the Lemba during which he lived with them, gained their acceptance and respect, and was finally able to secure their agreement to DNA testing.

Parfitt's scientific research generated a great amount of interest in this group of sub-Saharan Africans who claimed they are Jewish. Josh Bernstein, noted explorer, archeologist and Jew, decided to retrace the amazing journey that may have resulted in the Lemba settling in Zimbabwe.  During Josh's peregrinations he decided to try to decipher the reality between myth and fact regarding the Biblical Lost Tribes of Israel.

Josh encountered many groups around the world who claimed either direct or peripheral descent from the Biblical Jews.  However, it was the Lemba Tribe aka Lembaa, who live in Zimbabwe, Southern Africa,  who proved to be the most intriguing encounter in this quest.

Like the Bene Israel and Cochin Jews of India, the Lemba people did not fit neatly into most peoples' perceptions of "what Jews look like." Aspreviously discussed in this blog, the Jewish diaspora is as varied as the peoples of the earth.  However, in addition to anti-Semitism, racism plays a large part of the discomfort people have with the concept of Jews of Color. The identification of the Lemba as Jews would have probably passed largely unnoticed except for their sub-Saharan ancestry.

Today news sources around the world are loudly proclaiming and tacitly conferring upon the Lemba recognition of their heritage as direct descendants of Abraham because of the efficacy of DNA testing.  It is particularly poignant for me because this news was widely publicized in Israel via The Jerusalem Post, which I hope will begin to ameliorate some of the difficulties faced by Jews of Color in Israel.  Ethiopians in particular and others in general.

For me and other 'People of the Book,'  it is always satisfying when science lends credence to our beliefs.  It was prophesied to Abraham by G-d nearly three millennium ago in Bereshit 22:17 ~ "That in blessing I will bless you, and in multiplying I will multiply your seed as the stars of the heaven, as the sand which is upon the sea-shore."

Preteen Divorce in Yemen | Nujood Ali

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Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-ChiefLast Modified: 17:33 PM EDT, 4 March 2010

UNITED STATES - Nujood Ali is a ten-year old Yemeni girl who secured a divorce from her husband, a man 20 years her senior who violently raped her soon after their marriage. She recounts in her memoir her father promising her to this man and her mother's inability to protect her from the abuse she would soon suffer. Typical of many traditional, patriarchal societies, her father was the ultimate arbiter of all decisions pertaining to the females of his household. Even though Nujood's mother disagreed with the arrangement she was powerless to intervene.

Nujood's courageous story, "I Am Nujood, Age 10 Divorced," was just published in the United States this week. Her ordeal as chronicled in the book began when she was in the 2nd grade, before she had even had her first menstrual cycle. Though her father remained unswayed by her protestations, he did request her future husband to abstain from sexual contact with Nujood until after her first menstruation. On the day of her wedding, this small, scared girl remained curled up in a corner crying, and that night her husband raped her for the first time.

As a woman whose parents received the offer of several cows to become the nubile bride of an octogenarian, and who was violently raped as a teenager; Nujood's story evokes a visceral response in me.  Whereas I was able to avoid her matrimonial fate through the strong protestations of my mother, it was achieved at the cost of subsequent physical abuse from my father who felt defied and humiliated at his inability to "control his women."

Nujood's nuptial night rape was the beginning of a horrible cycle of abuse from both her husband and mother-in-law who encouraged her son to beat Nujood. Though only in elementary school her husband forced to drop out since education for women is not valued nor encouraged. Her life of enforced servitude and childbearing was antithetical to the independence education would have afforded her. Statistically, an educated woman will desire to improve her situation and that of her offspring, which often clashes with the rigid structure of a society where a woman's opinions and thoughts carry no weight.

This is what makes Nujood's story so remarkable, she was born and raised within this framework and was yet a child without the benefit of outside references, who had the presence of mind to escape from her husband's house and go to a local court where she bravely asked to speak to a judge. When she finally found one who would listen to her, she proclaimed with boldness,  "I want a divorce!"

Thus began a journey that would inspire other girls trapped in similarly abusive arranged marriages to petition the courts for annulments and divorces. It does not appear that Nujood knew the full import of her decision that day, nor the potential danger she faced from her family, particularly her father and brothers who could have easily murdered her, in all probability without retribution, through the practice of 'Honor Killing.'  Thankfully, this was not the case and now Nujood can live her life in a manner prescribed and determined by her in large part due to the success of her book and the income that it generates.

Nujood Ali's memoir was No. 1 for five weeks in France and is currently being published in 18 other languages including Arabic.  I highly recommend this book and encourage you to explore this issue further through the links below.

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Juárez, Mexico | Hell on Earth?

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Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-ChiefLast Modified: 01:35 AM EDT, 23 February 2010

Update: 10.05.11  CNN 'Two headless bodies found in Juarez, third body found at Church

Santiago Meza

JUAREZ, Mexico - The atrocities imagined in the 14th Century epic poem the "Divine Comedy" by Dante Alighieri seem to prognosticate the horror that encompasses the daily lives of the inhabitants of Juárez, Mexico. The town "stands on the Rio Grande (Río Bravo del Norte), across from El Paso, Texas.

El Paso and Ciudad Juárez comprise one of the largest binational metropolitan areas in the world with a combined population of 2.4 million people. In fact, Ciudad Juárez is one of the fastest growing cities in the world, in spite of the fact that it is "the most violent zone in the world outside of declared war zones."[1] With an average daily death toll at 12 a day and the most recent massacre of 16 innocent teenagers, Juárez is synonymous with senseless, brutal deaths and is the epitome of avarice and the inhumanity and depravity which are its natural by products.

The violent deaths and murders of both the innocent and guilty have shocked the world and anesthetized the inhabitants. Only in this cauldron of mayhem and destruction could Santiago Meza, known as "The Stew Maker," find purchase and purpose.

Meza, a scruffy, non-descriptive man was known as "El Pozolero" because he dissolved the bodies of the enemies of a local drug baron in industrial drums of acid turning them into a gelatinous soup which he later poured his property.

Over several years he claims to have “disappeared” 300 enemies of Teodoro García Semental, a former henchman for one of the largest cartels in Mexico. Meza stated that he was paid $600 a week by García and during one interview he said, "they brought me the bodies and I just got rid of them. I didn't feel anything."

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aci_wE6csQ]

If Inferno or Purgatorio exists, the innocent citizens of Juárez must ask and wonder what they have done to deserve such a fate, while we ponder if there is justice in this world or the next for those who would blithely take human life over pieces of paper called the dollar.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wREQUO8WG4U]

[1] Wikipedia
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King Tut died of Malaria

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It is a little disappointing to learn the truth of King Tutankhamun's death, because like so many others, I reveled in speculations of palace intrigue, royal malfeasance, murder and usurpation. Today the world learned that King Tut was merely a boy, one who had access to and buried with the riches of ages, but a frail boy nonetheless who died from a very treatable infection. Watch the video here.

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Nigeria's Taliban Clash with Police

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nigerian-taliban.jpg

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-ChiefLast Modified: 04:12 AM EDT, 11 February 2010

Maiduguri (Nigeria) - In July 2009 violence erupted in Northern Nigeria between Boko Haram and government troops. The equivalent of the Taliban they seek to replace the current penal code with Quran based Sharia law.  Currently 12 of the 36 states in Nigeria enforce Sharia law.

During the clashes the leader of Boko Haram was killed and his followers accused the police of conducting an extra-judicial killing. In the ensuing months the conflict increased in violence resulting in significant causalities.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z2I_Px5Klg]

On Tuesday, February 9, 2010 the news channel  Al-Jazeera aired footage that shows two uniformed men forcing seven young men to lie face-down at the side of a busy road. The uniformed men then fire into the men's backs. The footage could not be authenticated by The Associated Press.

Nigerian Police have been accused of being responsible for hundreds of extra-judicial executions, other unlawful killings and enforced disappearances every year. It also said the majority of the killings go uninvestigated and the police officers responsible go unpunished. If the purported execution of these young men is confirmed, it will be another blow to the image and perception of Nigeria's police force.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlpZr8IRUcY]

Borno state Police Commissioner Ibrahim Abdu says the TV images are false and "a deliberate attempt of the surviving sect members to cause confusion and threats."

Source: The Associated Press

World’s Untold Stories: Innocence for Sale

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In the "World's Untold Stories: Innocence for Sale," Aaron Cohen and CNN go undercover in Cambodia. The program vividly depicts the abject cruelty, heartless abuse and dehumanizing condition of children sold into sexual slavery, often by their parents. Once imprisoned, pedophiles who travel to the country from all parts of the world can pay roughly the same cost as a round of drinks for sex with a child. The documentary will enlighten and inspire new conversation about the challenges currently preventing aid workers and authorities from winning the battle in the struggle to free children from this most despicable form of modern-day slavery.

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Cesaria Evora | Celia Cruz | Mama Afrika

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In Tanzania and Nigeria where I grew up, "everyone is an artist because art in Africa is not a commercial enterprise but is part of life itself." This is true of all the disciplines, sculpture, art, and music; however, unlike sculpture and art, music is immediately accessible. Whether the vocalist sings in Xhosa, Portuguese or French the listener comprehends the essence of these songs. Music is the lyre of our souls and though there are many great voices that hail from all parts of the Diaspora, for me these matriarchs of Africa have created a lasting legacy capable of transporting us from the ennui of our daily existence to the coasts of Cape Verde, the sensuality of Cuba, the heart of a South African township, or to the vaulted halls and stages of Paris, France.

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Max Ernst | Dadaist | Surrealist

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Paintings by Max Ernst, German-born painter, printmaker, collagist, and sculptor and one of the major figures of the Dada and Surrealist movement.

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Marcia | Jihad Kahwajy

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"Say You'll Be Mine" is the 2009 release by a young Cape Verdean singer named Marcia. As with much of the music produced outside of the US and European markets, artists may be hugely popular in their countries of origin, but barely register on the charts in these Western markets. This small island archipelago off the coast of West Africa has produced not one but two beautiful singers.

The first Cape Verdean singer to gain a worldwide following is the famed 'Barefoot Diva,' the name given to Cesaria Evora by the public. Her music and performances were immensely popular when she was alive, and with her recently passing, her music is sure to garner more interest. I can recall on many occasions asking people if they were familiar with Evora or her music, and the response was often 'no.'

As an ardent fan of great African vocalists, particularly those who paved the way for peaceful political and sociological change, such as (Miriam Makeba, Cesaria Evora, Nina Simone, and Celia Cruz) to name a few, it is an honor to feature stories about their lives and their work.

Unlike the Divas mentioned above, Marcia has yet to make her mark, but this video directed by Jihad Kahwajy and produced by Klasszik, it is a bright light on the horizon of the Capo Verde music landscape which has just watched the sun set on one of its most iconic vocalist.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21Rqnrnjkbc]

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Take Me As I Am

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Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-ChiefLast Modified: 23:57 PM EDT, 20 January 2010

Mary J. Blige
Mary J. Blige

When I first saw the video by Mary J. Blige titled, “Take Me As I Am,” I was recovering from a life long addiction to personal and work relationships in which I allowed myself and my talents to be undervalued and unappreciated. It is said that with age comes wisdom, and in my case this is true, though I know a lot of old fools. Now, as a mature woman, I recognize my power and worth and because of this I have regained my self-respect.

Though the "The Breakthrough" album was released nearly five years ago, the track "Take Me As I Am" is a song that captures the anguish of abuse that is a consequence of disrespect.  This post was inspired by this song which I play often because it speaks to me, and by the quote “if you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.” ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Every woman or man alive has at one time been in a place where they have compromised their internal truth for some external gain. Sometimes this occurs during great hardship and tragedy where one’s very survival depends upon setting aside morality and self-respect to preserve one’s life or the lives of loved ones.

However, in mundane circumstances the potential to compromise self-respect most often occurs within the context of intimate relationships. Human interactions serve as a mirror that affords each of us the opportunity to either honestly regard ourselves and our actions, or to peer into its dark depths like Narcissus, and fall in love with false personae that we are all capable of projecting.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzNiE3ZUHdk]

Each of us is susceptible to Narcissus' fate, for though we do not literally drown in an attempt to unite with our reflections, each of us can conjure at will an unrealistic image of our perfect mate. When we engage in a relationship with a person that most closely approximates this vision we will often do anything to keep them.

It is true that an equal number of people have disrespected themselves for inanimate objects such as drugs, money, or material possessions, but it is easy to disguise our lack of self-respect in pursuit of these items because our debasement often occurs in privacy of our minds. It is more difficult to disguise a lack of self-respect within the context of interpersonal relationships.

Intimate relationships most often provide the fertile soil in which self-abasement can take root. In the beginning, the inequity between partners is easily sublimated by the heady euphoria of lust and unfamiliarity. Then, as the adage goes, “familiarity breeds contempt” and because of this, many men and women have suffered the indignities attributed to loving someone who does not reciprocate the feeling.

A healthy sense of self-worth can strengthen a person's resolve to wait for the right situation, the right partner, at the right time. One of the greatest values of self-respect is empowerment. When we rely on external validation, whether through the fawning public and media, as in the case of famous people, or through significant relationships, as in the case of every human being, life becomes a series of rapturous highs and devastating lows. Essentially, we transfer control of our self-worth into the hands of an unworthy judge. Reclaiming one's power and control is the message conveyed by this song which is an anthem for anyone struggling to rediscover their worth.

Self-respect is a tool by which human beings can realize their highest potential and greatest good.  It is only after one has learn to value oneself that you can value another person, even one who has rejected you.  Self-respect frees an individual to honestly assess personal interactions to determine if someone is a good fit for an intimate relationship or even friendship.  Concomitantly this realization should not imply that the individual is defective, because self-respect requires us to recognize the rights and feelings of people who may not fit within our world view.  Thus, we become free to be ourselves and to allow others to do likewise if we honestly and openly proclaim to the world "this is who I am."

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