Becker Sentenced to Life for Cutting off Penis

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-ChiefLast Modified: 22:24 PM EDT, 27 June 2014

LOS ANGELES, California -- In August 2011, Catherine Kieu Becker, a Vietnam-born woman also known as Que Anh Tran, brutally attacked her husband severing his penis. At that time they resided in Grove Garden, California. Today, nearly three years later, Becker has been convicted and sentenced to life with the possibility of parole after seven years.

Now 50, the infamous ex-wife has supplanted Lorena Bobbitt as the new face of women who castrate their husbands. Unlike, Lorena, Catherine Kieu, had not been abused, but instead appears to have been driven to violence by jealousy.

Kieu and her then husband married in December 2009, but in May 2011 he filed for divorce, which was granted in August 2011, according to Orange County court records. Despite the fact that she and her ex-husband had no children, it seemed that Kieu was not ready to relinquish the relationship.

According to other reports, shortly before the incident, the couple argued over a friend staying with them. Apparently, her husband thought little about the incident, or at least he didn't fear for his safety because he and Kieu enjoyed a dinner together.

It was during this meal that according to prosecutors, "Kieu laced her husband's dinner with the sleep medication Ambien, and once he fell asleep, Kieu tied his legs and arms to the four corners of the bed. She waited until he awoke before pulling down his pants  and cutting off his penis with a knife."

Once again the similarities between Bobbitt and Kieu are striking, but in the case of Lorena, she drove off in her car and threw her husband's severed penis out the window. She later led the authorities to the general area where she had thrown out 'his member,' whereupon it was located and later surgically reattached.

In Kieu's case, she seemed intent on her husband never being able to perform as a man again, as she threw his severed penis into the garbage disposal, turned it on and mangled it. After this vicious assault, Kieu called 911 to say that her husband was bleeding and required attention. Upon the paramedic's arrival they saw the severity of his injuries and immediately took him to the hospital for emergency surgery.

The victim is a battered man, and if not for his physical castration people may have scoffed at his predicament. But, the abuse perpetrated against him by Kieu cannot be healed with psychotherapy. Her ex-husband, 60, according to the prosecutor's office, described the trauma in an impact statement during Friday's sentencing.

'The convicted (person) viciously deprived me of part of my life and identity," the ex-husband told the court. "Then, as is routine in cases of violence that involve something sexual, the victim must endure, at the hands of the defense, a second attack. This was a cruel and calculated violation of a person's body and mind. I now struggle with what is before me. She has torn off my identity as a man. She has caused doubt in my belief in good. She has betrayed my trust in people." Source: CNN

Kieu's defense team's strategy seemed to rely on the success of the outcome of Bobbitt's acquittal on the grounds of temporary insanity. However, despite their claim that Kieu suffered from mental health issues, including depression, it was a stretch to claim that she was a victim of the battered woman's syndrome or acted in defense of her life.

Her claims do an injustice to the many women in this country and around the world who are abused physically and mentally by their partners until they break and either harm themselves or their victimizer. Fortunately, for women's rights, the jury didn't buy into Kieu's defense and today, she was sentenced to life in accordance with the April 29th jury verdict of one felony count of torture, one felony count of aggravated mayhem, and a sentencing enhancement for the personal use of a knife.

Follow Nahmias Cipher Report on Twitter Twitter: @nahmias_report Editor-in-Chief: @ayannanahmias

Related articles

• Lorena Bobbitt and the politics of hate (avoiceformen.com)

• California ex-wife sentenced for cutting off husband's penis (cnn.com)

• Crime History: June 23, 1993: Lorena Bobbitt gains notoriety after slicing off husband's penis (dccrimestories.com)

• Lorena Bobbitt has moved on two decades after cutting off John Bobbitt's penis (nydailynews.com)

Come Play the Color Game

Chrycka Harper, Poet & Literary CriticLast Modified: 23:13 p.m. DST, 11 February 2014

Dear Jo,

We have known each other for quite some time. I think this is the perfect opportunity to tell you how I feel about you. However, I want to make this interesting. Instead of me revealing to you my physical identity, you must guess who I am based on the following description that I provide you.

The catch: you must correctly identify my ethnicity.

When Toni is done reading this letter, you must tell her your answer. If you guess correctly, she will tell you who I am. If you don't guess correctly, then you will wander the Earth for the rest of your life never knowing the identity of your secret crush (just kidding). I wish you the best of luck in this game of “Guess Who” and I hope your mind possesses the necessary skills, such as inductive and deductive reasoning, to choose the best answer.

I am 5'5'' with a chestnut-almond complexion. Fashion magazines would declare that my figure is pear shaped and my feet are actually on the small side. If you were to browse through my music library, you will discover Pitbull, Baby Bash, and Mellow Man.

In my free time, you usually see me playing fútbol on the yard or basketball on the court. Many students can identify me just through my thick Southern accent, since I was born and raised in Birmingham, Alabama.

At this point, I trust that you already know the identity of this author. However, I will drop a couple of more clues on ya.

My fashion statement screams Harajuku style. I have an uncle that lives in Japan, so every summer; I visit him and buy my clothes from there. My favorite snack is sushi and my favorite meal is macaroni and cheese.

Lastly, my hair is naturally straight; it touches the middle of my back. My nose is narrow and my lips are medium-sized.

So.... who am I? Or rather, what is my ethnicity?

Sincerely,

Your “Not so Secret” Admirer ; )

*********************************************************************************************************************************************

"All human beings tend to judge people based upon a set of criteria, though the oft said and most abused aphorism is "to never judge a book by its cover."

In America, we often judge a person by his color, and with that ascribe an entire litany of characteristics and assumptions about the person without ever taking the time to know them.

This latest literary submission by Ms. Harper provides an excellent illustration of our tendency to assign ethnicity based upon characteristics and qualities that are universal, but have been neatly packaged by the media and force fed to the public so that if a person likes a particular kind of music, wears a certain type of clothing, speaks with a dialect or in colloquialisms, has a certain texture of hair, etc. - then they are this, or they are that, they are in fact anything other than just a human being.

I took the color test and failed. Not because I guessed the person's ethnicity correctly or incorrectly, but because I tried. Did you do the same? Be honest with yourself if not with others." ~ Ayanna Nahmias

Follow Chrycka Harper on Twitter

Twitter: @nahmias_report

Poet & Literary Critic: @chrycka_harper

Related articles

• Ethnicity follow-up (olympus_mons.typepad.com)
• Who is Black in America? | Soledad O'Brien (journeytomalem.wordpress.com)

Pop Quiz

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five World Cup champions.

3. Name fifteen famous historical figures.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

5. Name five Academy Award winners for Best Actor and Actress from the 1950's.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They're the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Now here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. Name three teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson?

The people who make a difference in your life aren't the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They're the ones who care.

Editor-in-Chief: @AyannaNahmias
LinkedIn: Ayanna Nahmias

Advice on Caring for Aging Parents

Anonymous AuthorLast Modified: 23:08 PM EDT, 17 July 2012

Today, nearly nineteen million Americans are caring for aging parents over the age of 75.

Most of the caregivers who are between the ages of 45-64 years old are providing 75 to 80 percent of all long-term care for parents or a grandparent.

Women are twice as likely as men to be the primary caregiver, but often in economically challenged families, the parents are moved in with their adult children families.

The story which follows is humbling and thought-provoking. It is especially poignant in light of the fact that most of us live with but rarely think about aging. But denial of this inevitability does not invalidate the reality that the majority of us will one day be old.

A frail old man lived with his son, his daughter-in-law, and his four-year-old grandson. His eyes were blurry, his hands trembled, and his step faltered.

The family would eat together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon, drooping to the floor. When he grasped his glass of milk, it often spilled clumsily at the tablecloth.

With this happening almost every night, the son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.

"We must do something about grandfather," said the son.

"I've had enough of his milk spilling, noisy eating and food on the floor," the daughter-in-law agreed.

So the couple set a small table at the corner.

There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed their dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in wooden bowls. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather's direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening, before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly: "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy replied, "Oh, I'm making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

These words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears streamed down their cheeks. Though no words were spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening, the husband took grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days, grandfather ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk was spilled or the table cloth was soiled.

Resources

• Family Caregiver Alliance. Offers tips on a wide range of topics, including how to hire help, hold a family meeting, balance work and care giving, find important papers, and decide whether parents should move in with an adult child.
• National Alliance for Caregiving. Reviews of more than 1,000 books, videos, Web sites and links.
• National Family Caregivers Association. Provides statistics, research and policy reports, tip sheets, first-person accounts, a newsletter and an exhaustive resource list.
• Family Caregiving 101. A separate "how-to" site by the NFCA with advice on time management, asking for help, navigating the health care maze and communicating with insurance companies and hospitals.
• The 2030 Problem: Caring for Aging Baby Boomers, Health Services Research
• MetLife Mature Market Institute. Reports from a research arm of the insurance company on the price of assisted living, the strains of long-distance caregiving, and the cost to employers of baby boomer employees involved in elder care.
• Strength for Caring. A site for family caregivers from Johnson and Johnson with original articles written by experts and how-to materials.
• The Alzheimer's Association.

Enlightenment and The Forgiven

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said "I hope you can forgive me father for the holes I put in you."

"Of course I can," said the father.

Editor-in-Chief: @AyannaNahmias
LinkedIn: Ayanna Nahmias

The Practical Maxim

We each possess the power to positively or adversely impact our fellow human beings. So, "beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again." ~ Og Mandino

This video was produced by the NGO, Mercy Corps, and it has been featured on the website because of its thought provoking imagery. On the Nahmias Report we strive to present balanced reporting on human rights issues around the globe. In keeping with this mission, inspirational posts are published to challenge our readers to look inward as they look outward, to temper judgment with understanding, and to use every encounter as an opportunity to sow peace instead of dissension.

"One man cannot hold another man down in the ditch without remaining down in the ditch with him." ~ Booker T. Washington

With Extreme Prejudice | Castration

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-ChiefLast Modified: 21:03 PM EDT, 13 July 2011

CALIFORNIA - Catherine Kieu Becker who lives in Grove Garden, California, called 911 Emergency Services after she cut off her husband's penis and mangled it in a garbage disposal.  This is not the first time that an American wife has cut off her husband's penis.

In 1984, Lorena Bobbitt severed the penis of her husband, John Bobbitt after he returned home and raped her following a night of heavy drinking.  Unlike Catherine who mangled her husband's penis in the garbage disposal, Lorena left with the severed penis, drove a short while, then rolled down the car window and threw the penis into a field.

She subsequently stopped and called 911 and after an exhaustive search, the penis was located, packed in ice, and taken to the hospital where John Bobbitt was being treated. The penis was re-attached by Drs. James T. Sehn and David Berman during a nine-and-a-half-hour operation.^[Wikipedia]

At this time, the reason for Catherine's assault are unknown. By contrast, Lorena Bobbitt revealed during her trial the volatile nature of her relationship with her husband. She told a packed courtroom that her husband sexually, physically, and emotionally abused her during their marriage and that John Bobbitt flaunted his infidelities, and had forced her to have an abortion. ^[Wikipedia]

What makes the cases against Catherine and Lorena so sensational is the visceral response men have to this crime.  Their penises are a potent symbol of their manhood, are the instrument by which they can procreate or rape, and one of the most sensitive areas of their bodies.  Because the perpetrators of these crimes are women, who in most societies are by and large viewed as passive victims, the only explanation offered is that they must be 'crazy.'

When a woman castrates a man, the action is tantamount to an insurrection by the 'weaker sex' and in any other country but America the offender would have been summarily executed. This was the case with a woman, known as Zarmina, executed by the Taliban at the Ghazi Sports Stadium, Kabul, November 16, 1999. She was a mother of seven children who killed her husband after he severely beat her.

Castration has been used as an instrument of war for thousands of years.  After battles in some cases, winners castrated their captives or the corpses of the defeated to symbolize their victory and "seize" their power.  The amount of media attention devoted to the rare incidents of male castration by females is inordinate compared to the global scourge of female genital mutilation.

Female Genital Mutilation (FMG) also known as Female Genital Cutting (FCC) or Female Circumcision has been defined by the World Health Organization (WHO) as all non-surgically necessary procedures performed on girls and women to mutilate their genitalia.  The damage wrought to these women's vaginas is heinous and equivalent to male castration but media attention to these crimes pale by comparison.

Although surgeons can reattach a man's penis there may be reduced performance, a female victim of FMG suffers life-long health issues.  These include urinary and reproductive tract infections, caused by obstructed flow of urine and menstrual blood, various forms of scarring and infertility.

This is not an argument in support of what Catherine Kieu Becker and Lorena Bobbitt did to their husbands, but rather an indictment of societies that continue to support misogynistic practices that go unnoticed and unpunished around the world and in many North African countries explicitly required to preserve the 'sanctity' of a woman's chastity.

In the American justice system we are judged by a jury of our peers.  In 1984 this judicial system declared Lorena not guilty due to insanity.  The verdict is still out on Catherine Kieu Becker  but it will be interesting to follow her case.

Follow Nahmias Cipher Report on Twitter Twitter: @nahmias_report Editor-in-Chief: @ayannanahmias

Related articles

• Lorena Bobbitt and the politics of hate (avoiceformen.com)
• California ex-wife sentenced for cutting off husband's penis (cnn.com)
• Crime History: June 23, 1993: Lorena Bobbitt gains notoriety after slicing off husband's penis (dccrimestories.com)
• Crime History, June 23: Lorena Bobbitt cuts off husband's penis (dccrimestories.com)
• Lorena Bobbitt has moved on two decades after cutting off John Bobbitt's penis (nydailynews.com)

Take Me As I Am

Ayanna Nahmias, Editor-in-ChiefLast Modified: 23:57 PM EDT, 20 January 2010

Mary J. Blige

When I first saw the video by Mary J. Blige titled, “Take Me As I Am,” I was recovering from a life long addiction to personal and work relationships in which I allowed myself and my talents to be undervalued and unappreciated. It is said that with age comes wisdom, and in my case this is true, though I know a lot of old fools. Now, as a mature woman, I recognize my power and worth and because of this I have regained my self-respect.

Though the "The Breakthrough" album was released nearly five years ago, the track "Take Me As I Am" is a song that captures the anguish of abuse that is a consequence of disrespect.  This post was inspired by this song which I play often because it speaks to me, and by the quote “if you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.” ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Every woman or man alive has at one time been in a place where they have compromised their internal truth for some external gain. Sometimes this occurs during great hardship and tragedy where one’s very survival depends upon setting aside morality and self-respect to preserve one’s life or the lives of loved ones.

However, in mundane circumstances the potential to compromise self-respect most often occurs within the context of intimate relationships. Human interactions serve as a mirror that affords each of us the opportunity to either honestly regard ourselves and our actions, or to peer into its dark depths like Narcissus, and fall in love with false personae that we are all capable of projecting.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzNiE3ZUHdk]

Each of us is susceptible to Narcissus' fate, for though we do not literally drown in an attempt to unite with our reflections, each of us can conjure at will an unrealistic image of our perfect mate. When we engage in a relationship with a person that most closely approximates this vision we will often do anything to keep them.

It is true that an equal number of people have disrespected themselves for inanimate objects such as drugs, money, or material possessions, but it is easy to disguise our lack of self-respect in pursuit of these items because our debasement often occurs in privacy of our minds. It is more difficult to disguise a lack of self-respect within the context of interpersonal relationships.

Intimate relationships most often provide the fertile soil in which self-abasement can take root. In the beginning, the inequity between partners is easily sublimated by the heady euphoria of lust and unfamiliarity. Then, as the adage goes, “familiarity breeds contempt” and because of this, many men and women have suffered the indignities attributed to loving someone who does not reciprocate the feeling.

A healthy sense of self-worth can strengthen a person's resolve to wait for the right situation, the right partner, at the right time. One of the greatest values of self-respect is empowerment. When we rely on external validation, whether through the fawning public and media, as in the case of famous people, or through significant relationships, as in the case of every human being, life becomes a series of rapturous highs and devastating lows. Essentially, we transfer control of our self-worth into the hands of an unworthy judge. Reclaiming one's power and control is the message conveyed by this song which is an anthem for anyone struggling to rediscover their worth.

Self-respect is a tool by which human beings can realize their highest potential and greatest good.  It is only after one has learn to value oneself that you can value another person, even one who has rejected you.  Self-respect frees an individual to honestly assess personal interactions to determine if someone is a good fit for an intimate relationship or even friendship.  Concomitantly this realization should not imply that the individual is defective, because self-respect requires us to recognize the rights and feelings of people who may not fit within our world view.  Thus, we become free to be ourselves and to allow others to do likewise if we honestly and openly proclaim to the world "this is who I am."

• Mary J. Blige Official Website
• MJB Discography
• Take Me As I Am Lyrics

Related articles

• Love It or Hate It? Mary J. Blige's Costume Institute Gala Look (bellasugar.com)
• Rad Or Bad: Mary J. Blige Toe-tally Rocked It At This Pre-Grammy Event (refinery29.com)
• Mary J. Blige Talks Infamous Nightclub Fight With Hubby On "Wendy" [VIDEO] (hellobeautiful.com)
• ChitChatter: Mary J. Blige Shares Intimate Details Of Her Life...How She Unaware, Ignorant, And How She Doubted She And Kendu's Marriage (bossip.com)